“Everything is like an echo you hear in a silent zone”
Never the fact that I realized how silly I have been all my life. No, it isn’t about finding my way. Finding who I am or anything more or less discovering myself. It is about all the relationships we humans have created. Those hard work, time and effort you put in for someone so dearest to you. Yet, that is just not enough. I am not able to explain what this feeling is like. Actually, I know for a fact this will not even matter in 5 years’ time but it matters to me right here right now. I do not know what have I done so wrong in fulfilling the demands of people I have considered my dearest. I am not sad because they left. It is ok they decided to set off. Everyone does and I do not demand time for their stay with me all my life. They have their own dreams to catch for. But what really broke me inside and out is the fact of being just a consoler in the time when someone needed me just to fill out the blank space in their life when their whole life is actually someone else’s.
Time is changing. Everything is like an echo you hear in a silent zone. You can only wait for it to say back the things, you’ve said. It scares me at times if I’d blink an eye for a moment I would for pass the scenario of the moment. Have you had this feeling? Like you aren’t sure about how you want to react to the situation because, No! You have never been an adjusting one and you can’t just admit it like the other people out there because it somehow hits you with the feeling that you’re losing everything, you’re missing something and you’re letting go off of something that is not yours. The person never claimed to be yours he/she never have been yours. You were hallucinating. You were an illusionist so dreamy about the fact they belonged to you that you claimed all the emotions they felt were for you. You were in an illusion that “your wait is the perfect remedy for the pain you’ve had inside your heart for a long Time.” There really is no remedy and there really is no solution there is no company and there is no companion. We all seek for a blank space first and then assume the blank space can be fulfilled by someone somewhere for your inner peace. Why would you be such a ruthless creature to shatter someone’s dreams of hallucination in their own merry world of fantasy?
People leave. They leave you with the most undesired unromantic memories you can never get over with because it haunts you down with the persistence of having a guilt with your inner soul. You tend to disguise yourself for the time you’ve committed towards them, slowly their memories stab with the tint inside your heart about all the beautiful soul you’ve disguised for one person you’ve considered your everything till date. This is no more like a fiction story, listening to the breakup song, quote or reading an article. This is about the hard way you’ve learnt the pain. The pain which is so deep your body no longer understands the pain and the wounds on your outer counterparts. Falling back over the cosmos and the stars you gazed all night, you and your beautiful soul added the extra cheese to the most favored Pizza anyone could ask for. And sometimes you are the character, who decide to vamoose because you just decide to.
Picture and article COPYRIGHT@Manisha Shrestha